How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize