Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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