Someone shit on the floor
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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