well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
