somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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