omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
