ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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