I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
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Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just want nice things and good sex
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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