Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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