she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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