This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
