I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
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She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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