I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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