I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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