It was confusing and full of hummus
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
