If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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