I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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