I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
