I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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