so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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