I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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