ugly people sure do ruin things
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
