we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
