i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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