My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
