I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Someone signed my nipple.
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