There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
