I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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