is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
