You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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