I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize