I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish I only lived at night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
