how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
