he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
