I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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