We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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