That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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