I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
last night I used snow as a chaser
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
