Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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