ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
