my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
