Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
