OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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