Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
