Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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