i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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