This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
