My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
