I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
