hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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