im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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