Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I had to cum in my sink.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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