HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
