So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm passing your future prison.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
