I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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