Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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