just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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