it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
