he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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